"My stupid mouth, has got me in trouble..."
Images=down, because Nom's Gold subscription=gone for now, so they should be back up whenever she's got time. I <3 Nom.
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School sucks. I hate it. Really. I never used to, but this is definatly the worst year. I hate chemistry, it's boring and I hate my teacher, as I've mentioned 16 thousand times. My history teacher, who's supposed to be so great, talks all the time about all the famous people he knows, and I don't think he likes me anyway. My literature teacher is stupid, and the class is pretentious and boring. I just dread getting up in the morning to go to school, and that's never happened to me before.
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Of course, there's also the emotional wear and tear. And that, my friends, is a long story. Jonathan broke up with Maggie, to make things short, and soon thereafter (a week) began dating her best friend Marisa. A little fucked up, huh? All this time we're doing tech together too. I have no idea how to feel about him. I hated him, but then I liked him for Maggie, but then he broke up with her, and I don't know. I can't hate him. But it's not like I can be happy with him or anything. Oh man, am I ever relieved to have tech ending (it's over tommorow.) I love doing it, but it's killing me, really it is. I need the break.
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I've been running from some sort of demons for a few weeks now, and I can't put it into writing. Some people do poetry, but I just can't. Whenever I write poetry, I look at it and it's SO fake. I can't keep anything I don't believe in that I write. It's just so frustrating. Everything I ever write that I look back on just looks like another person wrote it. It's not me. I need a way to express myself before I explode.
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But really, you guys, I'm getting so much better. Today I was sitting on my bed listening to a CD, and I suddenly realized how much I love some people. You know the people you kind of take for granted? My friends from King Open who I've known practically my whole life, I kind of don't realize how much I love them. Not in a sexual kind of way at all. Just love like a family. It was such a nice thing to realize. There are people who I can trust and rely on, and it's so good to have. Especially since there are so many I can't trust right now.
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God, can this year please be over NOW?
Lately, I feel 
maggie - big-lauren - drea - the rabbit - nom - karin - katie - kitten-cat - priire - coru - menucca - sache - kirin - mara
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